Poker Game Tips

In what seems like something out of Snatch as opposed to Ocean’s Eleven, a man robbed the Rio in Las Vegas yesterday morning at roughly 4 a.m. wearing a fedora, glasses, and a fake mustache. At gun point, he made away with $32,000 in mostly $1000 chips before fleeing the scene in the same taxi he arrived in. The police currently have no suspects.

The brazen crime occurs just months after an armed robber made off with $1.5 million from the Bellagio, the culprit of which turned out to be son to Las Vegas Municipal Judge George Assad. I guess you could have called his arraignment earlier this month a family affair. Zing!

Desperate times call for desperate measures, but are they really so desperate that fake plastic costume accesories seem like a viable option? I mean, there are just so many problems with this man’s approach that with my knowledge of cinema alone, I’m able to critique him like I’m .

• Arriving in a taxi? With the cost of Vegas cabs, the man would have been better served hiring a getaway driver. By the time he was dropped off, his exorbitant fees were probably half of the money he stole. But as outlandish as it seems to arrive to and leave from a robbery in a cab, the end result is that of just being another inconspicuous tourist or resident.
• There’s a reason why Groucho Marx’s fake mustache and glasses are sold at party stores. SPOILER ALERT: It’s because they’re a gag gift. Have you ever seen Point Break or Reservoir Dogs? Heat…now there’s a professional get-up. I mean damn man, do some research–the more face you show, the more of a chance you have to get caught. If you put on the fake Harry Potter hair piece/glasses combo, casino security isn’t going to think you’ve flown in from Hogwarts off the pages of a book. This isn’t Gotham where you can cover up your eyes and nobody knows you’re Bruce Wayne. You aren’t immune if you’re behind a mask. Just ask Leonardo DiCaprio and the sales of The Main in the Iron Mask.
• Why even rob a Vegas casino at all? It’s 2011, which means Vegas security is in 2020. There is hardly a stretch of The Strip that goes unnoticed by surveillance cameras, let alone the casino floor. It’s only a matter of time before somebody can decipher the true indentity behind the $6.00 disguise. Go off the strip where the rest of the crime prevails and you’ll fit right in. It will be so commonplace, that your apprehension will have to wait in line behind the 15 other cases arriving on Joe Law’s desk.

And for the record, no, I do not live near Las Vegas.